Many years ago I was leading a mission trip at a location where many people were seeking healing from God for a number of reasons. Addictions, abuse, those with criminal intent, and generally young people who were at the end of their rope and needed help. We were not suppose to ask questions such as “what are you in for” or “what problem brought you here?” That would be stupid. But, we were told that if one of the residence opens up to you on their own thats ok.
Sitting at one of the picnic dinner tables for 8 one of the residence began to talk to me. She was at one of the end seats which signified that she had leveled up in the program there. It was very noticeable that both her arms and legs had thin lines of symmetrical scarring. She was a cutter for sure, and I was trying to be so cool by not drawing attention to the permanent lines of not so distant pain. But her eyes took my focus down and to the rightm, straightening her arm at her side, “You wondering where my scars are from?” She confidently asked. She knew. She absolutely knew. One thing about the ostracized and outcast, they often have an acute sense of the genuineness of others and little patience for artificial generalities. Like many others there, this new life experience was out of desperation and a last resort for help. I am not exactly sure where this young lady was in her process, but it was evident she had healed to a place to be able speak openly about her pain that could only be displaced in short moments of sadistic controlled euphoria. She spoke to me about her abuse and abuser, I articulated my way around the conversation not to get into the specifics, because I knew that was not my place nor my place to give counsel, but rather to empathize and validate her past and present pain and struggles.
This week that experience came rushing back into my brain, because on two separate occasions I have crossed paths with two young ladies, both of whom were at two different points of sell, “Thanks come again,” situations. Only one day apart I caught a glimpse of the same thin scar tissue self inflicted lines of quiet desperation. My response, “Thank you,” turning and walking away with my bag or box of self indulgence. It wasn’t the time or place but I so wanted to hear the story. To understand why a young lady with so many years ahead, would on purpose pull a pair of scissors or kitchen knife across their own forearm and find comfort. What pain was/is so bad that on purpose injury gives sense of relief. I never discount what what pain, guilt, and depression will do to people.
Of course being a lead pastor I immediately did two things. I looked up statistics and scripture. Its what I do. I don’t know…its just what I do. Statistically 10% of young ladies 16 year old girls and younger cut, and 6% of boys do the same. I have no idea of the validity or the margin of error of these numbers.
My thumbs then typed g-a-d-e-r-e-n-e-d-e-m-o-n-i-a-c in my safari search engine. Mark 5 on bible gateway.com gives me the detailed story for my research. There was an outcast vagabond who literally lived on the fringe of society amongst tombs housing the dead in a field of pigs. Thats right, he did not fit in anywhere. This guy would not be shackled by anyone, yet he would cut him self with rocks. He would break chains that were intended to support the “Tarasoff Law” of not being a harm to himself of others. As far as the story goes, this guy broke through his shackles with the intention of only hurting himself. People called him demon possessed and the Bible agrees. That does not mean that all cutters are demon possessed. But self destruction and induced pain are of the satanic phylum. Any time that we substitute the truth for a lie, that is evil and self destructive.
God values every person. This truth is supported in Mark chapter 5. Jesus travels through a storm to a non welcoming land, into a pig pastor where the stench of death is prominent because there are also tombs where skeletal remains reside. All this for one person who no one seemed to care about.
If you cut…self harm in anyway, first of all you are not crazy. And there are a lot more like you. You are probably depressed at times and have a lot of anxiety. Wether your situation is self induced or external circumstances, I can be confident that Jesus values you. His desire is to have a relationship with you. How does that work? Just like any good friend. You talk to him and others who know him. He can bring the healing. He may not remove the scars for he himself still bears his. But he he can take the pain. Ask him for help.
pastor glen moore 